Bizarre Definitions

As repeatedly trailed, I’m turning my attention to David Gordon’s chronicling of the demise of the Paisley family: The Fall of the House of Paisley.

The book was completed and published prior to Junior’s election as an MP – but the version I read had an extra chapter detailing the downfall of the Robinsons.  However it was published too early to document the (wonderful) defeat in the general election of Peter Robinson – in East Belfast – by Naomi Long. The returning officer’s announcement of Robinson’s defeat was a moment to be cherished in the wee small hours on election night.

Gordon, however, meticulously documents other choice moments in revisionist DUP politicking and moralising over the last decades. He shines a very bright light on the bizarre definitions that both Paisley Senior and Junior have developed – in the absence of any real-world experience of doing anything other than sectarian politics, Ulster-style.

For example the Paisley definition of ‘entrepreneur’ seems to that of ‘property developer’. Instead of warning against the excesses and greed that were evident as Northern Ireland’s property market went wild – the Paisleys seemed to prefer rubbing shoulders with property developers like Seymour Sweeney whose ambitions knew no bounds. They seemed to believe that building shops and retail premises and pubs was what Northern Ireland’s economy really needed. In short, forget the need for skills development, innovation, or entire root-and-branch restructuring of our public sector dependent economy.

Property developers were seen by the Paisleys as in some way representative of the new Northern Ireland. They had the attributes of alchemist about them. And the Paisleys turned a blind eye to the fact that many of the most successful property developers (cum DUP supporters) often dabbled in the booze business.

From the pulpit Paisley Senior warned of the perils of the devil’s vomit. However, Junior appeared to want nothing to stand in the way of his favourite property developer’s grandest plans – even if they did revolve around the opening of licensed premises in the unlikeliest of places on Ulster’s North Coast.

The Sweeney shenanigans are detailed at length in Gordon’s book. When laid back to back they seem all the more remarkable. Moreover, I must admit, I hadn’t fully appreciated at the time just to what extent Sweeney was involved in the palatial Ballymena constituency office debacle – where public money was squandered to provide ludicrously over-the-top premises to the entire Paisley ego-machine.

Gordon also does a great job examining the dramatic conversion of Paisley Snr from the fire and brimstone, Papist-loathing ranter, to Chuckle Brother.  Gordon admits that he can offer no satisfactory explanation as to why the conversion took place. Perhaps it was an attempt by the ‘big man’ to secure a place in heaven. And perhaps that explanation is a correct one – given Paisley Senior’s continued references to a biblical rationale for his public chuckling with Martin McGuinness. In effect, he was smiling and chuckling in the face of his critics – all of whom, he claimed, were doing the devil’s work.

This book does a great job in articulating how family Paisley has manipulated public opinion, and even the word of the Lord, to suit itself. The book also shows Northern Ireland as little more than a Banana Republic without bananas. Gordon chronicles just how stunted and ridiculous Northern Ireland’s politics and politicians have become in the sectarian back-water that they have helped create.

Book Review: Fall of the House of Paisley

I trailed a few weeks ago that I was about to write a review of David Gordon’s excellent book Fall of the House of Paisley. But, what with work and stuff, I haven’t.

Then I went and promised David earlier this week that I was going to write a review by end of week – and yet I still haven’t got round to doing so.

However, I’m going to do it over the weekend.

But, in the meantime, if you haven’t got yourself a copy I’d recommend it.

Here’s a link to the book on Amazon.

Top 20 Northern Irish Blogs

Delighted that Iain Dale has made this little hobbyist blog one of the Top 20 in Northern Ireland.

I’m humbled indeed – and many thanks to Iain (and those of you who voted).

Bled Vision

I’m attending the Bled Strategic Forum. This is a global, strategic, geopolitical and economic conference run by a tiny Balkan country of around 2m people.

In short, just a little larger than Northern Ireland with a substantially bigger and more positive footprint. This is a society that has embraced democracy and outward focus instead of a fixation on Slovenia or even the Balkans.

I’ve just returned from the gala dinner where delegates from across the world – mostly diplomats – heard General Colin Powell outline why Slovenia punched above its diplomatic weight. Now I’m listening – admittedly intermittently – to a presentation by the OECD on why innovation and technology are drivers of economic growth.

Northern Ireland’s shambolic political parties could never put on a show like this because all they do, collectively, is contemplate their navels.

Well done Slovenia.

Labour: A Leader for the Whole of the UK?

Kris Ballance, a local Labour Party activist, has had a very useful post published over on the Labour blog site Labour Uncut…

During the last election, Cameron tried to seize an opportunity that no other party in Westminster has publicly tried to do before – he wanted to have a government that would represent the whole of the United Kingdom and would contest every Westminster seat to ensure that that happened.

Granted, it was on many levels a disaster for them. Instead of fielding their own candidates, the Tories linked up with the Ulster Unionists to agree 18 candidates between them, many of whom had grave misgivings about the arrangement and none of whom won.

He argues, however, that the new Labour leader should take a leaf out of Cameron’s book and that whoever wins the Labour leadership race should be seeking to represent the whole UK.

The Conservative pact with the UUP was a disaster – largely because the Conservative Party linked with an incompetent, and rudderless, and sectarian, UUP.  But at least the road to hell was paved with some good intentions on the part of David Cameron.
All the prospective Labour leaders have a moral and ethical responsibility to help Northern Ireland rid itself of sectarian defined politics.  Our turnout at the general election was the lowest in the UK – largely because voters could not choose between one useless sectarian party and another.  The bickering over ‘nationalism’ or ‘unionism’ is circular and pointless.
It’s about time that the Labour Party contested elections in Northern Ireland.  If it seeks to govern the United Kingdom it has a moral imperative to seek a mandate of govern every part of the UK.  And the new Labour Party leader should be arguing that.

Andy Burnham Backs Labour Organisation in Northern Ireland (while CCHQ ignores wishes of local membership)

I was heartened to read Andy Burnham’s article in today’s News Letter.  The Labour leadership contender has received the support of the local Labour Party in his leadership campaign.

It is noteworthy, in his article, that he holds out hope that the Labour Party may, ultimately, contest elections here. However, more interestingly, he makes clear that no deal with a local sectarian party is on the cards. Hardly surprisingly, he takes a dim view of the Conservative Party’s relationship with the UUP…

“What I believe is dangerous, however, is for one party to link up with a mainstream UK party, as the Ulster Unionists did with the Tories at the last election.

“That is why, as Labour leader, I would take a different approach.

“I would trust our members here to decide whether to put forward candidates for election, although I would always expect such a decision to be sensitive to the politics of Northern Ireland.”

It’s just a pity the Conservative Party doesn’t adopt a similar stance.  I gather that while local Conservatives had resolved to contest the Assembly elections (against the UUP and other, local, sectarian parties) – CCHQ has taken a different view. I understand that Andrew Feldman (Co-Chairman of the Party) has written to Sir Reg Empey assuring him that Conservatives will not be contesting Assembly election against UUP candidates. However, according to my sources, the author of Feldman’s letter was none other than Owen Paterson’s “Chief of Staff” and “Irish politics expert” Jonathan Caine.

Therefore, while Andy Burnham is assuring his local members that they can decide where and when to run elections here, a superannuated, £70k-a-year, ‘special adviser’ is essentially taking all decisions on behalf of local Conservatives – and ignoring their natural desire to run against the rudderless UUP.  Bizarre.

Suspension of Service

I’m languishing on a beach. As a result I haven’t been updating this blog as often as I should. Apologies to the handful of people this might bother.

Among my holiday reading is Fall of the House of Paisley by David Gordon. I hope to feature a review on my return. Just a few chapters in but enjoying hugely. In the tradition of great polemic.

Happy holidays all.

The Ultimate Twelfth

Over at the Belfast Telegraph Billy McWilliams (with a little help from David Gordon) suggests a few ways for distant folks to celebrate the big day.

Stan’ aroun’ in the field fur a while an’ make a few loyal resolutions. Ate a half cooked burger afore returnin’ til the car…

Billy’s command of the Morr Tung is impressive.

Read the full piece here…

Belfast Telegraph and Non-Tribal Politics

Earlier in the week I trailed the fact that I’d be writing a piece for the Belfast Telegraph series of opinion pieces focused on the creation of non-tribal politics in Northern Ireland.  My article appears in the Bele Tele today.

Here’s the full text…

Just a few days ago, Ed West, writing in the Daily Telegraph, noted that, “democracies where voting patterns are entirely decided by ethnic group, and where parties gravitate away from the centre ground, are not really democracies at all but tribal head-counting competitions.”

Thankfully, it would appear that in Northern Ireland the local electorate is getting increasingly fed-up with head-counting. Turnout here, at the recent general election, was the lowest of all the UK regions. It slumped to under 57%.

The fact that nearly half of the electorate voted for “none of the above” – by not voting at all – says a lot about the malaise. In short, there is no centre-ground that focuses on policies that might benefit the local electorate – that might get things done, rather than squabble constantly about non-issues of “identity” or “culture” or, let’s call a spade a spade, religion.

The attempt by the Conservative Party and Ulster Unionist Party to fill the centre-ground void was utterly shambolic.

The local Conservative Party organisation – that had succeeded, over the decades, to maintain its non-sectarian credentials – was dragged into a sorry mess. The so-called “new force” was just the same old UUP with new posters. After the Fermanagh South Tyrone unionist carve-up, the entire edifice crumbled.

So what now? Well, the general election saw the Conservative Party invest hundreds of thousands of pounds in a project led by a rudderless UUP. Now is the time to admit that the project was a mess.

In short, the Conservative Party needs to start from scratch again, building an organisation that will win elections. It needs to stand on its own two feet as a progressive, centre-right force in Northern Ireland politics.

The local party executive needs to get a grip and make clear what it’s about – in short, creating a centre-ground political party that appeals to all, regardless of religion or so-called ‘national identity’.

The Conservative Party, in coalition, is showing that it can be effective and progressive. It can do the same in Northern Ireland.

If it does, people might just start voting again – and for the right reasons.

Sir Alasdair Fraser Among the Highest Paid Civil Servants

The government has published a list of all civil servants paid more than £150,000.

Included in the list is Sir Alasdair Fraser, Director of Public Prosecution for Northern Ireland, who is paid between £170,000 and £174, 999.

Sir Alasdair announced earlier in June that he planned to retire – after serving in the post for 21 years.

The PPS in Northern Ireland has been mired in controversy – especially after its handling of the Thomas Devlin murder.  Thomas’ mother claimed that the PPS was “failing the people of Northern Ireland.”

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Musings on things political and secular…

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